Helmet, and the ordeals with the traffic police…
It was 36 degree Celsius when I kick started my bike on a hot sunny humid afternoon in Adyar; was on my way to meet my friend in Alwarpet, which is about 5 km from Adyar. There’s this government order that all bikers must wear helmet, or pay a fine of Rs. 50. I was breathing in hot humid air, and the road was already smelling of tar, and the very thought of confining my head and visage inside a hot smelly cage (helmet!) made me ask my mom for two fifty rupee currency notes in exchange of a hundred rupee one. Yes, you guessed it; I was not planning to wear the helmet and was ready to pay Rs. 50 fine for disregarding the government order.
One of the many flyovers in Chennai…
From my vast experience of my encounters with dogs and traffic policemen, I never look at their eyes, and if I did, I’ve invited trouble already. One vague stare at a rabies stricken dog, it starts barking and comes running at you. It actually pains me to draw an analogy here, but the same kinda’ thing happened - there was this traffic policeman, who was in the shade of a flyover all that time, suddenly sprang in front of my bike trying to stop me. Well, I did two BIG mistakes, 1. not wearing helmet and 2. a vague look at the traffic policeman enjoying the cool shade under the flyover.
He gave me a menacing look and immediately removed the key from my bike - forcefully! I mean, what the heck, who gave him the permission to remove the key from my bike, or even to touch my bike. He did not have a pen and paper with him to note down vehicle registration numbers if people eluded him, and he’s just being clever removing the key, successfully preventing my evasion (I wouldn’t have evaded him anyways after being stopped by a police guy, as I respect his profession - I repeat, ‘profession’). Following was the conversation between me and the traffic police man (TP):
TP: Where’s you helmet? Don’t you know there’s a government order and I can fine you for that?
Me: Yes I know, but it’s very hot and I just can’t wear a helmet in this hot sun
of course, the entire conversation was in Tamil, and he was a bit amazed to know that I’m a patchai tamizhan (pure Tamilian!) Often, there are people who mistake me for a North Indian or a Mallu. So sad, all his plans of demanding bribe from me had come crashing to the earth!
TP: There are no personal preferences. This is the rule you ought to have followed, and now ‘m gonna fine you for not wearing helmet. But before I do that, let me check if you have driver’s license, insurance, vehicle pollution certificate and RC book, and ‘ll decide on the final fine amount if any of these is missing.
Before he could complete the above dialog, I counted at least 10 other bikers without helmet whizzing past the TP. Well, I produced the aforementioned documents, and he became a little more sad again as everything was up-to-date and couldn’t find fault with the docs. He also softened a bit after seeing the address, as the area that I come from is infested with VIPs and really-elite personalities. Thanks to them!
TP: So you ready to pay the fine? Fifty rupees please…
Me: Will I get a receipt?
He stares at me and goes searching for the receipt book hidden under the side box of his Enfield bullet.
TP (murmurs): hmpf, for the fifty rupees fine he needs a receipt
He returns with the long receipt notebook and starts scribbling my name, registration number and so on. God only knows what he wrote in them…
Me: Do you really think the helmet is going to protect me when all those Tata Indica, Tata Sumo (stands up to its name!), Chevrolet Tavera and Toyota Innova guys are driving recklessly and go scot-free just under your nose?
TP: We’re constantly watching them and book more than 100 cases everyday…
If that’s the case of enforcement, those cabbies should be behaving well, which sadly is not the case!
Me:What happens to the people who fall from the misplaced barricade stones that you’ve laid as medians?
TP: Those are temporary and we are studying the traffic flow, and will suggest for permanent medians when the studies are finalized
What the heck, those temporary block-stone medians have been lying around for more than 9 months; looks like a semester system of studying and giving a report. Strange!
TP: Here’s the receipt, and please wear helmets hereafter. Also, I suggest you collect signatures from people working in your company, and submit the petition to the higher authorities in the traffic department. I guess, learned people like you can make a difference and make the system better.
Me: Thanks!
Hmm, looks like suddenly he became an enlightened soul!? I guess the aforementioned scenario is not something new to anybody in any part of India. I’ve had similar experiences in Bengaluru while on a bike bearing Tamil Nadu registration number.
I will not blame the police for such a sorry state, after all they are highly underpaid, and hence they look out for various means to grab money from the people. When it comes to politeness and good manners, they would’ve never heard such words even in their mother tongue. These people need training, a really professional training; and the government must consider raising their income levels (’mean, through their payroll!) to enable a better quality of living. A sensible government would have enforced rules and regulated the auto-rickshaws; they are the prime violators of any rule - be it obscene tariff or driving.
We all pay tax, and we can expect at least good and sensible law enforcement. It’s sad that we’ve to live with these abnormalities, which are like malignant cancers spreading perpetually into many roots of our society. It’s imperative that this doesn’t get to a situation where the cops in an extremely under-developed poverty-stricken African nation are considered better-mannered and efficient than ours!
Will I live to see a golden-age!? Looks like this question has a short and sweet answer!
Picture from: Chennai Television
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